Tuesday night I started the sleep program which we’ve used on the other two kids – the idea is that when the child wakes you go in, calm them down, then leave while they’re still wide awake. Talking/rocking/singing/comforting of any real kind should be avoided. They obviously cry immediately, but you leave them crying for a short period of time before repeating the process. Each time you leave her, extend the amount of time before going back in slightly. You’re not really supposed to do this till 7 months and on, but we felt she was ready.

Tuesday: I went in, came out and counted to 50 before returning. I then counted to 60, 80, 100 and 120, after which she fell asleep of her own accord in her cot. Roughly speaking about 7 minutes give or take.

Last night: I went in, came out and counted to 50. I wasn’t sure I’d get to 50 but went back in. I repeated the process and went in at 60. When I came out I didn’t bother hanging around – she was asleep.

It’s a fantastic program, it really works brilliantly. We just need make sure she stays in it.

On another note Esmé had her 6 month check up this week: she weighs 9 kilos 115 grams. This puts her way up on the scale of size for her age. A friend of ours has a 9 month who is pretty much the same weight and average for his age. All our kids have been big, right from the start.

Following Esmé’s bout of illness we’ve had a little regression with the old sleep training, so here we are again – only this time we also have to get her to take a bottle.

We’ve been making progress with the bottle, slowly but surely. Initially this involved a certain amount of pinning her down and putting the teat in her mouth while screaming (that’s her doing the screaming). I found that if I put her left arm ’round’ me and I put my right arm round her and put my finger in her hand she found it comforting and was also unable to escape from the bottle. It worked to a fashion, the main problem being that rather than actually drink anything she just fell asleep.

We’ve moved on from there with the bottle but last night I decided to use the same technique in getting her back to sleep – it works a treat. Unfortunately she’s got into this bad habit of waking up and screaming when she’s put back into the cot so we had to resort to serious sleep training: don’t pick her up, just keep going in, calming her down and leaving again; repeat the process every few minutes, lengthening the pause between visits gradually. It took about an hour or so, I’m not 100% sure of the timing, but eventually she went to sleep on her own, in her cot.

We’ll repeat the process tonight and I’m feeling reasonably confident it won’t last much longer than that. The nights of Esmé being breast fed back to sleep are numbered.

We’ve now had a few consecutive nights of sleeping through – amazing how things can change so quickly from this post. Esmé is now well into her routine – in bed by 8 – 8:30pm, wake 6-6:30 am. She might then go back to sleep for another hour after that.

With this new found feeling of normality we went to a party on Friday night till 2am and survived

Of course if there is one thing to be sure of, we’ll definitely have more disturbed nights ahead of us at some point, it’s all to easy to fall out of a routine..

We moved Esmé into Olivia’s room on Friday night – at 5 months old much later than Gabriel or Olivia. This is partly because we’re sleeping on a different floor to the kids, partly because she hasn’t slept through as well as the other two.

Friday night went OK – two wake-ups – but last night was not great with four wake-ups. Because she’s sharing we’re less able to experiment with leaving her to cry/rocking her off etc and are back to being a bit dependent on giving her a feed, not necessarily the greatest. Nice to have our bedroom back to ourselves though.

I’m shattered now, partly because of a disturbed night and partly because we put on Zodiac at 10pm last night. The film was OKish but by 12:10 I’d completely lost interest and just wanted to go to bed (so we went through all that and didn’t see the end – I think it’s a 2 1/2 film, way longer than it needed be). Esmé is pretty regular at waking at 7 am now, so lie-ins are not anticipated now for a year or two

Jo went out last night. All was well until 11:30 when Esmé woke. She’s decided that the novelty of being rocked off to sleep just doesn’t do it any more. Unfortunately she doesn’t go for dummies or bottles either, only the real thing for this girl. I did eventually manage to get her back into her cot after 20 minutes of violent kicking and screaming, but she woke again at 12:10. Luckily for me Jo had just got back in so I didn’t have to go through it again.

She’ll be five months old on Saturday and it’s already becoming clear that she’s been gifted with Gabriel’s obstinacy and Olivia’s temper, both legendary in their own right – God help me!

We’ve obviously got to re-think – being rocked off is no real alternative anyway, she needs to learn how to go back to sleep without external comforting.

Ever since my smug post on the 31st we’ve had a reversal of fortunes. Esmé has been waking two to three times a night, which clearly wasn’t the plan. Last night took things to a new level, as we had a pretty terrible night due to the fact that she’s ill again (nothing major, just blocked up) and wanted nothing more than to be comforted by her mum.

So much for an unbroken nights sleep

Or so I thought when I woke this morning…!

She’s been really good, just one feed a night now for a few consecutive nights, we’ve our eye on that last feed now..

just a quick note as I am waiting to see if Esmé is going to go to sleep (currently wide awake in her cot).

Last night was good. She woke once at 5:30, so no complaints there. Ironically I didn’t sleep as well. When she was waking 3-4 times a night my head only had to hit the pillow and I was asleep, but last night I struggled to get back after 5:30. This is partly because I’m in the thick of things with work and my head was spinning with ideas/things to etc etc.

Went running this morning with Jo – we took advantage of the fact that the in-laws are with us, making it the was the first time we’ve ever run together. It was good to get out – cold, but good for clearing the head.

It went better than expected: she woke for the first time at 3 am, when we gave her a feed. Jo timed it – 6 minutes. She then woke at 5:30 am when I calmed her and put her back in her cot where she played till 6:15 when she needed rocking off.

It’s by no means a done deal, experience tells me that we can get her into a routine but that she can just as easily come off it again due any any number of reasons (sickness, changes to her other daily routine due to traveling etc etc). It’s also worth noting that one improved night doesn’t make a routine!

Given that she only fed for 6 minutes we don’t think she needs the feed at all but don’t want to push it – worst case scenario is that we try and rock her off when she’s properly hungry and won’t be satisfied with being rocked off, with the result that we eventually have to give in and give her a feed. This sets a precedent and she will know that if she cries enough she’ll get fed – not good!

The important thing is to set the groundwork*:

• make sure she’s fed enough during the day
• make sure she’s slept enough, but not too much, during the day
• make sure that you both agree on how you’re going to deal with things during the night
• mentally prepare yourself for no sleep, then any sleep you get is a bonus!!
• be consistent, stick to what you’ve decided in advance
• be realistic in your goals, don’t aim too high and then have to give in

It’s amazing how your perspective changes at 4 am with a crying baby. Knowing in advance what you’re going to do and knowing that you are both in agreement makes it much easier to deal with.

We’ve the in-laws arriving today for a few days. I think we’ll try and continue as per last night and then once they’ve gone will see if we can’t get rid of the final feed.

*disclaimer: I’m no expert, my training has only been ‘on the job’, but this is what I’ve found useful

It’s third time round so you’d think we would have some idea of how to get our baby to sleep through the night. Getting her into a routine is a good start, sleeping at the right times for the right amount of time during the day, eating enough etc., but despite this a good night’s sleep entails just two wake-ups, a not so good night is being woken five times.

We just started Esmé on solids in the last few days and she was clearly ready for it, so we thought that once that kicked in she’d start sleeping better, but so far no real sign of it.

Last night she woke at midnight, then 3 am, when she was breasfed. When she woke fifteen minutes later at 3:30 I tried to rock her off. I’ve tried this previously with no success. Anyway, last night she went off in my arms, and into her cot. When she woke at 4 am I figured it would be every half hour from then on, but she went back in again and slept for the rest of the night.

So… tonight we’re going to try and not feed her, although will possibly relent at 3-4 am, we’ll see. The idea behind this is that once she realises that she’s not going to get fed every time she wakes she’ll get bored of it and sleep through. That’s the theory anyway.

It’s worth noting that when rocking her she was kicking and screaming until I relented and sang to her – it was a last ditch attempt and not something I had any expectations of working, but she stopped kicking and screaming pretty much immediately. I’m not sure if she’s just extremely un-discerning or whether I should be looking for a new career, what do you think?

Fingers crossed for tonight.